1 The Song — best of all songs — Solomon's song! The Woman 2 Kiss me — full on the mouth! Yes! For your love is better than wine, 3 headier than your aromatic oils. The syllables of your name murmur like a meadow brook. No wonder everyone loves to say your name! 4 Take me away with you! Let's run off together! An elopement with my King-Lover! We'll celebrate, we'll sing, we'll make great music. Yes! For your love is better than vintage wine. Everyone loves you — of course! And why not?
1. The Chase (Verses 2–4) The song opens with an intense longing for intimacy.
The chase, although vulnerable, is not immoral
I see this in couples during dating.
They put on their best face; the most positive attractive version of themselves!
During that time we create a perception; We create an idea of what they are like!
He makes me laugh, she so fine, He loves talking with me, she build me up………
What happens in marriage, the chase stops!
What you like becomes irritation
Example: You once thought they were funny and charming, now they are childish and aggravating! Example: You once thought they were thoughtful and compassionate, now they seem antagonistic and critical!
"What is one 'silly' or 'extra' thing you used to do when you were first dating to impress your spouse?"
What Changed?
The Law of Pursuit states that to maintain a vibrant relationship, couples must intentionally and continuously invest effort in each other. (Make deposits)
It can’t be passive; love is treated as a daily choice, prioritizing companionship and emotional connection over apathy.
For a relationship to thrive, you must never stop "dating" or intentionally seeking after your spouse
Rediscover what made the relationship work in the beginning and choosing to build from there.
What made the relationship feel good at the start?
How did you treat each other?
How did you speak to each other? What did you enjoy doing together?
Take an honest look at how things are now.
Have you stopped doing the little things?
Has kindness turned into criticism?
Has lack of interest replaced graciousness?
Recommit to the Right Actions
Love isn’t just a feeling,
What often reignites connection is doing—not feeling—first.
4 Take me away with you! Let's run off together! An elopement with my King-Lover! We'll celebrate, we'll sing, we'll make great music. Yes! For your love is better than vintage wine. Everyone loves you — of course! And why not?
Regular, caring actions create an environment where feelings can grow again.
Start small: Start with creating new patterns, say something kind, give a hug, spend time together, listen closely.
2. The Conflict (Verses 5–7) (the silent killer)
5 I am weathered but still elegant, oh, dear sisters in Jerusalem, Weather-darkened like Kedar desert tents, time-softened like Solomon's Temple hangings. 6 Don't look down on me because I'm dark, darkened by the sun's harsh rays. My brothers ridiculed me and sent me to work in the fields. They made me care for the face of the earth, but I had no time to care for my own face.
Internal and external conflicts because of comparison
Note: She uses the phrase, “sisters of Jerusalem” (6 times is the book)
The most dangerous thing we can do is compare ourselves with others!
Prov 14:30 30 A sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bone (the message)
When we look to those around us to measure whether we are ok or not ok, we are in danger!
Many people feel ok until they opened up Facebook or Instagram and see the beautiful new addition someone put on their home, or the all-inclusive vacation they were enjoying.
Does it become your standard for measuring significance and importance?
Does your life’s value increase or decrease when compared to that of another?
If so, you are living your life before the face of man, not the face of God.
How does looking at 'The Sisters of Jerusalem' (social media/other couples) change how we view our own 'vineyard' or home?"
Note: In her insecurity and hardship, she searches for her lover!
7 Tell me where you're working— I love you so much — Tell me where you're tending your flocks, where you let them rest at noontime. Why should I be the one left out, outside the orbit of your tender care?
What is the man to do, What Jesus Do for us?
Eph 5:25-28 25 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church — a love marked by giving, not getting. 26 Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, 27 dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. 28 And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor — since they're already "one" in marriage. (the message)
Men, right there it is, in black and white!
3. Encouragement (Verses 8-14)
The Man 8 If you can't find me, loveliest of all women, it's all right. Stay with your flocks. Lead your lambs to good pasture. Stay with your shepherd neighbors. 9 You remind me of Pharaoh's well-groomed and satiny mares. (Harley, Corvette) 10 Pendant earrings line the elegance of your cheeks; strands of jewels illumine the curve of your throat. 11 I'm making jewelry for you, gold and silver jewelry that will mark and accent your beauty.
The man responds to her insecurities with high praise, validation, and direction.
Why is it hard to receive a compliment?
"Why do we deflect praise, and how can we practice simply saying 'Thank you' to our spouse?"
4. The Finale (Verses 16–17)
The Woman 12 When my King-Lover lay down beside me, my fragrance filled the room. 13 His head resting between my breasts — the head of my lover was a sachet of sweet myrrh. 14 My beloved is a bouquet of wildflowers picked just for me from the fields of Engedi. 15 Oh, my dear friend! You're so beautiful! And your eyes so beautiful — like doves! 16 And you, my dear lover — you're so hand some! And the bed we share is like a forest glen. 17 We enjoy a canopy of cedars enclosed by cypresses, fragrant and green. (The Message)
It a place of rest, calm and peace in the Crazy Cycle of Life!
It’s the conclusion of goals and purposes for the day or week!
It’s the passion that creates life for your kingdom work!
It helps you recognize those sneaky little foxes!!!!!!
