Last weeks images: Battle of the sexes, The crazy cycle
Approaching the topic of marriage and sex is honestly very strenuous for me,
It’s a topic not often discussed in a church setting, and when it is, people are usually criticized
There are different opinions about what’s okay or not within the realm of marriage
Because of abuse, the topic of sex can be traumatic, but there is a need for healing!
Much like abortion, people do not want to be continually reminded!
The Bible is full of teachings that are a sore subject, but we still teach them!
My Goal is to move us from the "Reality" (trauma/sin) toward “God’s Design" (healing/gift).
Heb 13:4 4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. NKJV
Honorable above all: held in high esteem, highest priority, and kept sacred.
Marriage and the marriage bed is to be held in Highest esteem, highest priority compared to everything else.
Undefiled: Sexual intimacy is designed to be exclusive to the marriage relationship, and is to be unpolluted, unstained, unsoiled, undefiled by sin
How can someone dishonor the “marriage-bed” before they are married?
Fornicators: one who prostitutes their body to another's lust (emotionally or for gain) Incest: Sexual relations between close family members.
16 percent of children have been abused before age 18, and 5 percent have been sexually abused by their fathers before this age.
Complex PTSD: Many survivors meet the criteria for Complex Trauma due to the chronic, repeated nature of the abuse.
Emotional Dysregulation: Difficulty managing intense emotions, including fits of rage, persistent anxiety, panic attacks, or profound sadness.
Dissociation: A common survival mechanism where survivors feel detached from their bodies, surroundings, or even their own history through dissociative amnesia.
Prostitution: Engaging in sexual activity for emotional or monetary gain
Using sex to gain favor, a sense of control, escape feelings of weakness, or gain validation.
Pornography: The consumption of pornographic material, which is viewed as defiling the marriage bed.
Roughly 90% of boys and 70% of girls under 18 have seen pornography at least once.
Viewing porn is linked to decreased activity in the prefrontal cortex, which governs executive function, decision-making, and impulse control, mimicking the effects of drug addiction.
Sexual Assault: Any non-consensual sexual act
Nearly 1 in 5 women and over 1 in 6 men in the U.S. experience contact sexual violence in their lifetimes. Every 68 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted, with 60% of these crimes committed by someone the victim knows.
Cohabitation: Living and sleeping together without a legal marriage, described as "legalizing your sex" through marriage instead.
80% of recently married couples (2020–2022) lived together before marriage.
Couples who cohabit before engagement are 48% more likely to experience marital dissolution compared to those who wait for a formal commitment
Homosexuality: Same-sex sexual relations, contrary to the "natural limits of sexuality".
20% of Gen Z (born 1997-2006) identify as LGBTQ+, only about 1.8% of those born before 1946 do so
Bestiality: Sexual acts with animals.
A 2021 review of general population studies estimated a prevalence rate of 2% for both men and women participate in bestiality
Recent studies suggest that the number of female offenders is increasing
Adulterers: someone who has sex with someone else while married to another
Polygamy/Plural Marriage: Relationships involving more than one man and one woman, which Driscoll argues always leads to "catastrophic ends" in biblical examples
As of 2026, only about 2% of the global population lives in polygamous households
Gender Dysphoria: Various sources list between 68 and 81 specific gender identities. Some popular lists cite 72 distinct types, including nonbinary, genderfluid, agender, and bigender.
How do these acts of sexual immorality affect the Marriage Bed?
1 Cor 6:16-19 16 And don't you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, "The two are united into one." 17 But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him. 18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. NLT
When a person indulges in illicit sexual intercourse, whether for gain or for lust
During sexual intercourse, in the female brain there are more receptors for oxytocin, and in the male brain there are more receptors for vasopressin. Both hormones cause the person to feel emotionally attached to the other, even with just one act of intercourse.
Research suggests that during sex, brain regions responsible for maintaining a sense of individual identity and separating oneself from others can become less active. This can cause people to feel as though they are losing their sense of individual self and joining together with their partner.
As a result, the compounding sexual issues, there are many roadblocks in the marriage bed, which was meant to held in the Highest esteem!
The Common views of sex!
Sex as an Idol: a relentless pursuit of pleasure, making it the sole foundation of a relationship.
The relationship revolves solely around sexual activity, with little emotional connection or intimacy outside of it.
Creates obsession, addiction, and spiritual emptiness
Sex as gross: fearful attitude toward sexual behavior, discussion, or nudity.; viewing sex as a necessary evil or dirty
Many religious traditions, particularly in Western history, viewed sexual desire and pleasure as dangerous or sinful. Some interpretations considered even marital sex to be a "concession" to human weakness rather than a purely positive act, contributing to a culture where sex was associated with guilt and impurity.
Sex as a gift: sex is a good thing given by God for marriage
Intended for pleasure and longevity!
The God given chemicals of Oxytocin and Vasopressin are God’s "bonding glue" for healing and pleasure.
We must Reclaim the Marriage Bed for the sake of our marriages!
Heb 13:4 4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. NKJV
Honorable above all: held in high esteem, treated with respect, and kept sacred.
The marriage bed is to be held in Highest esteem, above all
Sex is a sacred gift from God that should be enjoyed with freedom and without shame, provided it remains within the covenant of marriage.
Purity is Found in Jesus, Not Just Virginity
Jesus makes us pure: For those with a sexual past, repentance and the gospel "wash" and "sanctify" the individual so they can enter a marriage bed that is considered undefiled in God's eyes.
Shame is a liar: If a spouse views themselves or their partner as "dirty" due to past sins, it can emotionally defile the intimacy of the marriage.
1 Cor 6:9-11 9 Don't you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don't fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, 10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. 11 Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. NLT
This means God doesn't see a "repaired" version of you; He sees a new creation.
