Children, Crazy Cycle…. Today we want to focus on the different seasons in marriage, where couples shift from season to season. It’s during the transition from stage to stage that we need to look out for the foxes! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Song of Solomon 2: 1-17
Young woman 2 1 I am the spring crocus blooming on the Sharon Plain, the lily of the valley.
Young Man 2 Like a lily among thistles is my darling among young women.
Young Woman 3 Like the finest apple tree in the orchard is my lover among other young men. I sit in his delightful shade and taste his delicious fruit.4 He escorts me to the banquet hall; it's obvious how much he loves me.5 Strengthen me with raisin cakes, refresh me with apples, for I am weak with love.6 His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me. 7 Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right.
That is a powerful reminder to approach connection with integrity and care.
It emphasizes that stirring deep emotions or physical desire in someone else isn't just a casual act; it’s an invitation that carries responsibility
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 8 Ah, I hear my lover coming! He is leaping over the mountains, bounding over the hills.9 My lover is like a swift gazelle or a young stag. Look, there he is behind the wall, looking through the window, peering into the room.10 My lover said to me, "Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one!11 Look, the winter is past, and the rains are over and gone.12 The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air.13 The fig trees are forming young fruit, and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming. Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one!"
Relationships naturally cycle through different seasons—often compared to Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter; these Four Seasons of Marriage are natural progressions and atmosphere of a relationship.
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8 Ah, I hear my lover coming! He is leaping over the mountains, bounding over the hills.9 My lover is like a swift gazelle or a young stag. Look, there he is behind the wall, looking through the window, peering into the room. 10 My lover said to me, "Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one!
Which season is represented here?
Spring: The honeymoon stage; season of new life, excitement, and hope.
Spring can also follow a period of conflict or stagnation, offering a chance for healing and a fresh start.
Does this stage have to be seasonal, or can it be a lifestyle?
11 Look, the winter is past, and the rains are over and gone.
Winter:
In this stage, we often feel: Stuck: Like we’re repeating the same old arguments or living in a "roommate phase". Distant: A sense of emotional or physical withdrawal, where we’re physically present but miles apart Broken: The feeling that the damage is to deep and impossible to fix
How do you fix this stage?
12 The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air.13 The fig trees are forming young fruit, and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming. Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one!"
Why is it important to regularly consider what "season" your marriage is in?
By identifying your current season, you can move from being passive participants to intentional partners who can choose to work toward a more fulfilling marriage relationship
11 Look, the winter is past, and the rains are over and gone.12 The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air. 13 The fig trees are forming young fruit, and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming. Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one!" NLT
Moving from a "winter" of coldness or distance back into a "spring" of renewal requires shifting from inaction to intentional action.
Summer: Characterized by comfort, stability, and growth. Things are going well, and the couple feels intensely positive.
Fall: A cooling-down period where doubt, distance, and challenges begin to surface. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
14 My dove is hiding behind the rocks, behind an outcrop on the cliff. Let me see your face; let me hear your voice. For your voice is pleasant, and your face is lovely. Young Women of Jerusalem 15 Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!
Why do the women of Jerusalem address this couple?
To give counsel!
Titus 2:1-6 2 Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine. 2 Guide older men into lives of temperance, dignity, and wisdom, into healthy faith, love, and endurance. 3 Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. 4 By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, 5 be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don't want anyone looking down on God's Message because of their behavior. 6 Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives. (The message)
The danger to springtime is “The Little Foxes”
The greatest threats to marriage are rarely "lions" (big, obvious disasters); they are "foxes"—the small, hidden irritations or neglect that gnaw at the roots of intimacy.
Let’s go Fox Hunting
1. The "Communication" Fox
The Goal: Kill the "silent treatment" or "simmering" before it boils over.
If something bothers you, bring it up within 24 hours or let it go forever. No "saving up" grievances for a later fight. (Ladies)
2. The "Digital" Fox
The Goal: Stop "phubbing" (phone-snubbing) your loved ones.
No phubbing areas…. Bedroom, table, etc.
3. The "Scheduling" Fox
The Goal: Prevent busyness from "nibbling" away at your quality time.
Schedule a non-negotiable weekly date night or "sync-up" time. (Men)
4. The "Outside Voice" Fox
The Goal: Ensure no third party (friend, parent, or coworker) has more influence than your partner.
Practice the "United Front" rule. No making major decisions or venting about your partner to outsiders without talking to them first.
Guarding the vineyard!
Prioritize the "Vineyard": Set firm boundaries to protect your time and emotional connection from outside influences
Identify them early: Recognize habits that could sabotage your marriage before they grow into "big ones".
Take immediate action: Like a gardener protecting a literal vineyard, couples must be proactive in "removing" these behaviors rather than tolerating them.
Get help: someone to help you identify the foxes. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Young Woman 16 My lover is mine, and I am his. He browses among the lilies.17 Before the dawn breezes blow and the night shadows flee, return to me, my love, like a gazelle or a young stag on the rugged mountains. NLT
