The church has focused on its love for God to the point, that there seems to be no room for passion and excitement in their marriage!
In fact, many feel they are cheating on God if they love their mate with the same passion and excitement!
We have taken things that help with deepening love for each other, such as dancing to love songs, that help reminds us of the reason we fell in love, and created an internal guilt for even desiring to do so!
The idea that loving your spouse with passion is "cheating on God" is a theological error.
Scripture (like Song of Solomon or Hebrews 13:4) suggests that God is the author of that passion. Loving your mate fervently isn't competing with God; it’s obeying God’s design for oneness.
1 Cor 7:1-6 1 Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? 2 Certainly — but only within a certain context. It's good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. 3 The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality — the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. 4 Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. 5 Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it's for the purposes of prayer and fasting — but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. 6 I'm not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence — only providing my best counsel if you should choose them. (The Message)
Question: 1 Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations?
Please note that I didn’t bring this topic up, the Corinthians did, and other questions
Sex was from the beginning and has been a topic of discussion since!
Response:
2 Certainly — but only within a certain context. It's good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder.
But only within a certain context
Husband and wife
Sex outside of marriage has unseen challenges!
Sexual drives are strong
Sex is the most natural desire a person has, not drugs, alcohol, etc.
1 Cor 7:8-9 8 So I say to those who aren't married and to widows—it's better to stay unmarried, just as I am. 9 But if they can't control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It's better to marry than to burn with lust. NLT
Burn (pyro-technics): to be inflamed with emotions (image) 1. Marriage is strong enough to contain them
Song 7:12 12 Let us get up early and go to the vineyards to see if the grapevines have budded, if the blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates have bloomed. There I will give you my love. NLT
The Point: There should be an intentional invitation for romance.
2. Provide for a balance and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder
In a world that is sex crazed, outside of marriage, sex should be a place of satisfaction within marriage
Song 8:6-7 6 Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame. 7 Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it. If a man tried to buy love with all his wealth, his offer would be utterly scorned. NLT
The Point: Passion isn't something to be "tamped down"; it is a "mighty flame" from the Lord that is intended to be unquenchable.
3 The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality — the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. 4 Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out.
3. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality
The husband seeking to satisfy his wife (due benevolence)
The Wife seeking to satisfy her Husband
Song 2:16 16 My lover is mine, and I am his. He browses among the lilies. NLT
Song 7:10-11 10 I am my lover's, and he claims me as his own. 11 Come, my love, let us go out to the fields and spend the night among the wildflowers. NLT
Passion and satisfaction must have boundaries
We must have a clear "ultimate goal"—defined as “loving God and loving our mate”—to distinguish between healthy and harmful pursuits. (satisfactions)
The Test: Does this pleasure bring satisfaction without distracting from our "Final Goal" of loving God and our mate?
In other words, if it would dishonor God, it is forbidden.
If it celebrates your union, it is legitimate.
In marriage, the marriage bed is undefiled within the context of the goal!
The Approval Test: Will your drive for satisfaction jeopardize the sacred rights or well-being of your spouse?
True intimacy is built on consent and honor.
The Balance: Even good things can become harmful or lose their value when taken to excess.
Unchecked indulgence in pleasure can distort a persons perception of reality and lead to addiction, dependence, or regret.
Sexual intimacy expressed within the privacy of marriage is holy, righteous, and glorifying to God.
We must stop treating the "marriage bed" as a place of legalism and start treating it as a place of sacred, passionate service to one another.
5 Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it's for the purposes of prayer and fasting — but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. 6 I'm not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence — only providing my best counsel if you should choose them. 4. Protecting the marriage Bed
Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time, if you both agree
The Point: To keep pleasures from becoming "illicit" or "distorting reality," we must protect the relationship from small, destructive habits.
Song 2:15 15 Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming! NLT
The Point: "The Vineyard" represents the couple's relationship and bodies; the "little foxes" are the small sins, busyness, or legalistic attitudes that steal the joy of the marriage and the marriage bed
There should be great satisfaction in each other, and it should grow stronger as you age!
We have seen two directives over the last couple of weeks:
